I'M PREGNANT...

...Is it too obvious?

Can you tell?

35 YEARS AGO...

35 years ago I was only 2. 35 years ago our country suffered a big change. It happens that here, there and everywhere when you don't agree with the government you just wait till this ends and then you vote, you choose again. If by voting we see that tendency wins again well...I'm sorry, people have spoken, whether we like it or not. Democracy is democracy.Sadly by then there was a group of people that was really vain, they wanted to make a decision by me, by my family, by chilean people.Until now I use to hear people saying they are very overwhelmed by the attack to the Twin Towers, or any other attack in the Middle East. That's terrible, but I honestly think that bombed La Moneda is grotesquely obcene. Our Palace of Governemet being bombed by militars who thought they owned the truth, that is a scene that filled me with pain and sadness...because I know what came later.Days ago while watching a tv progamme, I thought..how would our country have been if that military strike wouldn't have existed? We would have had the pleasure to have been visited by several rock bands for sure. Besides Serrat, for instance, would have come many times, as Silvio Rodriguez. Lots of book would have been 2eaten" by our "thirsty" of knowledge society. Maybe things that happen now, would have happened years ago so now we'd be on advantage. We wouldn't have had that famous and useless CEMA Chile, which it was just an excuse for some women just to gossip-and please don't tell me I'm wrong-, headed by the eternal smiled Lucìa Hiriart de Pinochet. I still remember her typical new year's speech begining always with "Dear children..." I get sick only by remembering. But the most important thing: if our democracy would have keep on with its normal course...thousand of chilean people would be with their families, excepting those that for natural causes have already left us.Despite all this there is something I feel , very strong inside: I'm proud of being chilean, proud to have had the first socialist president democratically elected by people-and what a president- on world history, proud to belong to a country that said "enough" knowing that there are other countries in where people are submited for decades and decades. But above all, in the future, and now that I'm a mother, I expect to feel even prouder to belong to a country that doesn't forget, not for having hard feelings- which by the way would be a tremendous reason-but out of that the future is made of, but the good one. If I cut my finger chopping onion, I'll know that I have to do it in any other way then, so now we know there are certain things we do not have to allow. No more dictatorship in Chile, no more...for respecting to all those who were submited fighting for what it was snatched from us and our Partner President Salvador Allende. Hurrah for Chile and its democracy, that wheter we like it or not, we are capable to respect and let it keep on with its normal corse. That's the way it should have always been.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE FACE OF ANGER?

Well, I have. I saw it last night and it has a name: Marcelo Bielsa. And the worst of all is...he is right! ( 3-0...shame on them!)

P.S. Happy birthday dad.

LUCKY ME!

When I was expecting Valentina I couldn't-obviously-went to Pearl Jam's concert. When she was less than a month, of course I couldn't go to U2's. Madonna is giving a concert next December, and...I won't be there. A moment ago, while watching the news I just knew that Queen is giving a concert next November 14th...could that be possible? all the odds against me? what's next? Paul McCartney or...The Black Crowes? Queen never showed the purposed to play here and now that I'm pregnant and about to give birth Rodrigo...they come? what are the odds, huh?

THE STRENGTH OF THE BELIEVER

It is known the most incredible pain in a human being's life is the loss of a child. There is no way to fill that big space that someone that was supossed to bury you left. Even more when we are talking of a life just starting to be enjoyed. I wonder how many times these girls would have talked with their girlfriends about how their future would be, and their family, husband, career, etc. How many jokes would have came up. Unfortunatelly it wasn't more than that: a talking. Maybe some of them never knew what the first kiss was, or to having a boyfriend was. And they passed away leaving behing them an overwhelming pain, as overwhelming that there's no palliative nor anestesia to calm it. Unfinished teenagers dreams, idealistics- probably-.

9 families will cry for a very long time their absences. First year, the worst. The first Christmas with out them, first new years's eve or birthday. However they have the strength the believer has, luckily. When your little girl is not with you anymore but you know she's in heaven for sure anyway, in other words she is alive. In another place, but alive fortunatelly, and parents know for sure they will see them again one day. And so, you convince yourself of that, if not you could drive crazy, what would happen if this happens to an agnostic parent? he or she goes to shit, just like that. To shit. You'll never see your son or daughter again. And then...there's no way to delete that tormet you're going through. I deeply value these parents are believers. That they have this kind of redemption to help them. Nine girls were supossed to come back to Santiago today and I'm quite sure they said goodbye to their parents promising souvenirs. Sadly it wasn't that way and in return they left a tremendous empty space impossible to fill with anything. As time goes by, which in this case is the only "sanation", they will be able to accept it...but never forget it nor replace it. This post doesn't want to be full of tears, it's only a reminder of at anytime we can stop existing. But the worst and hardest thing to accept is when we are talking about young and beautiful lives that know nothing of the world and maybe had everything to live for.

I WANT TO BE PART OF THIS CHURCH!

Since today is my birthday I'm going to give a gift to myself...I want to follow this Jesus!!!!! I love him!

P.S. Long life to the Black Crowes. Amen.

ZZZ...

"You have to rest" Those were the exact words of the doctor. I'd have laughed right there. ¿rest? ¿alone at home with a two and a half year old girl? yeah, right. But, well, that's ok. Here I am in front of the computer while she's playing with her "potota" (a rubber ball), but it's just like she can notice I'm tired because everytime something falles down or she makes noises, she comes closer with an "ups" face and says "I'm sorry mum". Today she has helped me enough. She took the clothing out of the dryer machine and ate all of her meal for lunch. Now she's making some lego figures and then she says : "mum, this is for you. It's a castle". I wonder how will it be when Rodrigo is here, will I be allowed to watch TV? probably, as now, I'll have to stop watching something, as today the Olimpic Games opening and change the channel as a Valentina requeriment to see..."Go Diego Go". Maybe this is her way to say thank you and that's why she has behaved. What do you think? well, for now I want ... zzz.